Please, for the love of gravy, thaw your turkey in the fridge. A 13-pound bird needs about 3 to 4 days to fully throw off its ice-cold chains. Trying to speed-thaw it in a sink of warm water is a one-way ticket to Bacteriopolis, population: your cousin who “doesn’t eat anything weird.”
If you’re stuck and need a faster thaw, submerge it (in its sealed bag) in cold water, changing the water every 30 minutes. That takes about 6 to 8 hours. But honestly? That’s like trying to defrost a car engine with a hairdryer—it works, but everyone judges you.
