Naturally, the internet has gone absolutely bonkers. You can’t be the most famous backup quarterback (or future starter) in college football history without people digging through your every Instagram like. The rumors? They’re hilarious. Some fans swear he’s secretly dating a mysterious Canadian heiress named “Bianca.” Others think he’s in a top-secret relationship with his own highlight reel—honestly, I wouldn’t blame him.
But here’s the cold, hard truth: Arch has zero public dating history. No rumored flings, no cryptic Valentine’s Day posts, no “she’s just a friend” photo ops. He’s the Fort Knox of romantic privacy. It’s like the guy found the cheat code to avoid the paparazzi’s love detector.
Why Is He Single? The Theories Are Pure Gold
First theory: He’s laser-focused on football. I mean, the guy’s family didn’t invent the position of NFL quarterback just so he could waste time on Tinder dates. His uncle Peyton once said that dating in college was like “throwing into double coverage—high risk, low reward.” Arch might be taking that advice literally, living like a monk with a football shoved under his arm.
Second theory: He’s terrified of the family curse. Think about it. His grandpa Archie had the media chewing his ear off about his love life. Uncle Eli got grilled about his now-wife during a Super Bowl press conference. Arch probably thinks, “If I bring a girl home, she’ll have to pass a lie detector test from the entire sports news nation.” So he stays single, eating protein shakes and avoiding eye contact with anyone holding a microphone.
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Third theory—and this one’s my favorite—he’s actually a robot. Let’s be real: no human with that much fame, money, and arm strength can stay unfazed by a stadium full of screaming fans and zero public dating drama. The NFL might have built him in a lab. His official bio probably reads: “Model: A7000. Features: 4.5-second 40-yard dash. Romantic relationships: unprogrammed.”
