England is home to about 650 species of spider. Only a handful can even break your skin, and none of them have venom dangerous to a healthy adult. It’s like finding out your terrifying neighbour actually just wants to borrow a cup of sugar—and his teeth are made of marshmallow.
The worst you’ll get is a red, itchy lump. A bit like a mosquito bite, except you get a cool story about it being a “venomous spider attack.” You’ll tell it at parties for years. “I nearly died in Somerset!” you’ll say. You won’t.
