If you’re a Red Member, you have about the same chance of getting a ticket as a snowball surviving in a heatwave. Gold members get first dibs, and they’ll snap up all the prime seats before you can even type your password incorrectly. By the time you’re in the queue, the only seats left are behind a pillar that blocks the goal, in a row where the seat number is “G-47-B,” which smells faintly of old socks.
But wait! There’s always the secondary market. Resellers will offer you a “Premium View” for only three times face value—mostly because “Premium View” means you get a nice view of the stadium’s concrete ceiling. You’ll pay £200, and the person next to you will spend the whole match explaining why their nephew’s cousin’s dog is a better striker than Gabriel Jesus.
