Because this bug is a menace. It’s destroying vineyards in Pennsylvania. Winemakers are literally spraying them off grapes. Imagine your Pinot Noir tasting like bug juice. Gross.
Farmers hate them. Gardeners hate them. Even the birds aren’t sure what to do, because the bugs taste weird. So they just sit there, smug and polka-dotted.
If you see one, you’re supposed to squish it. No mercy. Some states even have “smash and report” campaigns. It’s like a citizen’s army against an army of dots. You get to feel like a hero.
But Look at How Cute It Is—Wait, No, Stay Focused
I get it. The pattern is stunning. Nature’s graphic design game is strong. But resist the urge to adopt one as a pet. They don’t cuddle. They don’t do tricks. They just drain the life from your backyard.
Also, they jump. They hop away like they’re in a tiny trampoline competition. One second you’re inspecting it, the next it’s on your arm, and you’re doing the “get it off” dance. We’ve all been there.
How to Identify and Stop Spotted Lanternflies! - Howell Engineering
If you’re in the eastern U.S., you’ve probably seen them by now. They’re spreading fast. They’re like a spotted army marching west. California, brace yourself.
