First up is the National Express coach. This is the undisputed king of the cheap seats. You can snag a ticket from central London for as little as £5 if you book three months in advance. That’s less than a fancy coffee, and you get a seat with a view of the M25’s soul-crushing traffic.
Yes, the ride takes about 90 minutes, but think of it as a forced meditation retreat. You’ll witness a man eating a pungent egg sandwich, a teenager watching TikTok at full volume, and a driver who took “smooth sailing” as a personal dare. It’s an absolute bargain, and the Wi-Fi is usually working enough to complain about the traffic on Twitter.
Pro tip: book online using a random incognito window. The website seems to raise prices if it thinks you’re desperate. I once caught it charging my neighbour £15 more for the same bus. Sneaky, sneaky.
The EasyBus: The High-Speed Lottery
Then there’s the easyBus. This is the budget airline of ground transport. They promise the world, deliver a slightly sweaty minibus, and charge extra for everything except the oxygen inside it. Tickets start at £2.99 if you book early—a price so low it feels illegal.
The catch? You’ll be sharing the vehicle with nine other souls, their emotional-support luggage, and a driver who treats red lights as suggestions. But honestly, for the price of a single beer, you get dropped at the South Terminal. It’s a psychological win. You’ll feel like a savvy travel ninja while everyone else is weeping over their train fare.
Just remember: easyBus has banned eating on board in some routes. Bring a secret bag of crisps and eat them silently, like a guerrilla fighter. You earned this.
Cheapest Ways to Travel Between Heathrow & Gatwick - Big World Small
