Here’s the kicker. After all that math, all that stressing over minutes per pound, the safest and most delicious move is often to not stuff the bird at all. I know, I know—heresy. But cooking your stuffing in a casserole dish kills two birds with one stone: it cooks faster, stays crispier, and you don’t have to play turkey roulette with your oven.
But if you must have that cavity-stuffed magic (I get it, I really do), then embrace the irony. Accept that the cooking time per pound is a myth, a gentle suggestion we tell ourselves to feel in control. Your real control comes from a probe thermometer, a relaxed attitude, and a plan to carve late. The turkey always wins. The sooner you laugh about it, the faster you’ll get to eat it.
