Reading the Evening Post obits is like learning a new language. “Passed away peacefully” means they were probably asleep. “Passed away after a short illness” means everyone is still in shock. “Passed away suddenly” means don’t ask.
And then there’s the phrase “Will be sadly missed.” That one is a blanket statement for “We have no idea what else to write, but it sounds nice.” It’s the obituary equivalent of a shrug emoji.
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Pro tip: Watch out for the notices that say “flowers from the immediate family only.” That’s code for “Please donate to the cat sanctuary instead of buying tacky lilies.”
The Photos: A Wild Ride
Oh, the photos. This is where it gets good. You’ll see a glamorous black-and-white shot from 1972, where the person looks like a movie star. Then, the text reveals they spent the last decade in a cardigan watching Wheel of Fortune.
Sometimes you get a photo of them grinning with a fishing rod or holding a massive vegetable from their garden. It’s incredibly charming, and also deeply confusing. Why is that carrot bigger than their head?
