The thing is, a hickey is never a solo activity. You can’t give yourself one—unless you’re a professional contortionist with a vendetta. Which means you have to look at the person who gave it to you. It’s a shared, silent embarrassment. You make eye contact in the morning, and there’s a tiny, unspoken agreement: “We’ll never speak of this again.”
Hickey: Causes, Treatments, and Prevention - Liverpoolbuzz
It’s like a secret handshake that turns into a public shaming. That awkward “hickey hug” where you lean in to say goodbye, but then realize your neck is a district attorney trying to present evidence against you. You end up doing a weird half-turn, looking like a robot with a stiff spine.
The Universal Lie
At work on Monday, you’ll say it’s from your gym bag strap. Everyone nods, but we all know the truth. The gym bag strap is the most overused alibi since “I was stuck in traffic.” It’s more reliable than a dry alibi, but just as transparent. You could have a hickey shaped like a dumbbell, and you’d still swear it was from a squat rack.
Deep down, we all have a tiny, fond memory attached to the scar. It’s a little badge of a moment when you forgot to be an adult. It’s the physical proof that you got a little carried away, that you let your guard down, and that you were, for a brief moment, not worried about what the mirror would say the next day.
So, the next time you see one on a friend, don’t point and laugh. Give them a knowing nod. Offer them a cold spoon. And remind them that, like all embarrassing things in life, it will fade. But the story? That one’s a keeper.
