First, you have to fight the panic that makes you want to scream “MOM!” into the white void. Your brain will tell you to run, but that’s like trying to outrun a jealous ex who’s already driving the car. Instead, swim like a lifeguard on vacation. Move your arms and legs in a breaststroke to stay on top of the snow, because the powder is basically a monster made of laundry foam.
Think of it as the world’s worst body-surfing event. You want to float toward the edge, not sink into the middle like a sad potato in soup.
The “Roof of Your Mouth” Maneuver
When the avalanche slows down, it’s time to play a very grim game of Twister. You need to create an air pocket in front of your mouth before the snow solidifies like a bad cement shoe. Use one hand to punch a small space, like you’re making a snow cave for a single, very desperate mouse. If you don’t, you’ll be eating snow and playing “find the sky” for way too long.
Pro tip: when you feel the snow stop, spit. Yes, really. Gravity is your friend here, so the direction your spit falls is the direction “down.” You want to dig up, not burrow deeper into the underworld like a confused gopher.
