Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Not with a giant glass of water—you’ll just vomit that up. Take tiny sips of an electrolyte drink. Or suck on ice chips. Be boring. Be the sloth of recovery.
Don’t take anti-diarrhea medication unless a doctor says so. Your body wants to get the bad stuff out. Let it. I know, it sucks. But you’re just delaying the inevitable purge.
Eat bland foods when you feel ready. Crackers, toast, plain rice. Nothing that requires a fork and a prayer. Your digestive system is on strike right now; don’t ask it to negotiate.
When To Wave the White Flag
If you can’t keep liquids down for 24 hours, or you notice blood in your vomit or stool, call a doctor. If you feel faint, have a racing heart, or stop peeing (like, for 8+ hours), you’re dehydrated. That’s an emergency.
Food poisoning is usually just a horrible 24-hour guest. It leaves as dramatically as it arrived. You’ll survive. You’ll never look at potato salad the same way again, but you’ll survive.
And next time? Maybe skip the mystery burrito. Your bathroom will thank you. Now go lie down. You’ve been through enough.
