Eat your carbs after protein and fat at a meal. You’ll have a lower blood sugar spike. Your pancreas will literally thank you with a tiny, silent clap.
Fun fact: pasta lovers in Italy average about 250 grams of carbs daily and have lower obesity rates than Americans. Why? They walk everywhere and eat pasta as a primo course, not a bucket. Portion context matters more than the carb itself.
Need a number to start? Most active women do well with 200–250 grams. Men? 250–350. But if you’re 6’8” and a professional pizza taste-tester, all bets are off. That’s a dream job, by the way.
The Final, Laughable Truth
One study found that people who eat more carbs (from whole foods) actually live longer than those who go low-carb. The catch? Don’t eat them from gummy bears. But if a gummy bear makes you happy, have one. Longevity is also about joy.
Another hilarious gem: your gut bacteria feast on carbs. Specifically, they love fiber—which is technically a carb. Starve your gut bugs, and they get gassy and mean. Feed them? You get a happy, peaceful microbiome that makes you less likely to crave junk.
So, how many carbs should you eat? Enough to feel strong, clear-headed, and never tempted to fight someone for a breadstick. Start at 200 grams, adjust up or down like you’re tuning a radio, and laugh at anyone who says carbs are evil.
They’re not. They’re just misunderstood, delicious, and very clingy.
