Next time you watch Home Alone, yell “He’s eight!” when Kate says it. You’ll feel smart. Your friends will roll their eyes. It’s a holiday tradition now. You’re welcome.
And when you see him put that toy car on the stairs or scream after slapping on aftershave, just remember: that is the behavior of a second-grader. A second-grader who has a better understanding of physics than most engineering students. It’s ridiculous. It’s perfect. It’s Home Alone.
So there you have it. Kevin McCallister: age eight in part one, age nine in part two. Forever a childhood legend. And if anyone argues with you, just tell them his mom said so. Case closed. (Kevin out.)
