Google is your friend. Type “free birth chart calculator” and click the first result that doesn’t look like a pyramid scheme. Cafe Astrology and Astro.com are goldmines—they won’t ask for your credit card or your soul. Enter your stolen birth data, and prepare for a wall of jargon that looks like a alien spreadsheet. Don’t panic. Scroll down until you see “Venus” and a symbol that looks like a hand mirror (♀). That little guy is your love compass.
For example, my Venus is in Gemini. Which means I find intelligence funnier than abs, and I will text you three novels before you finish your coffee. It’s exhausting, but my therapist says it’s “fine.”
