Every year, the producers throw in a legend you haven’t thought about since 2003. This year, it’s a former boyband member who now runs a vegan cheese shop in Brighton. You’ll spend the first episode squinting at the screen, thinking, “Did he used to sing the chorus on that one song?” The answer is yes, and he’s about to be your emotional support celebrity for three weeks.
We also have a daytime TV presenter who is so relentlessly cheerful it makes you tired. She’ll be the one trying to organize a “fun” campfire sing-along while everyone else is mid-meltdown. It’s exactly like that friend who suggests a team-building exercise when you just want a coffee. You’ll roll your eyes, but you’ll secretly root for her to win.
The "Bizarrely Multi-Talented" Wildcard
There’s always one contestant who seems to have fallen out of a completely different TV show. This year, it’s a Michelin-starred chef who also does stand-up comedy on weekends. You’ll watch him turn a can of beans and a withered potato into a five-star meal while telling jokes about his divorce. Suddenly, your own burnt toast on a Tuesday morning feels like a personal failure. Don’t worry—he’ll probably cry during a trial, because everyone does.
And then there’s the Olympic athlete who is annoyingly good at everything. They’ll climb a rope with their eyes closed while you’re still struggling to open your cereal box. The rest of the camp will hate them for being too capable. But mark my words, they’ll be the one who accidentally befriends a spider and names it Gerald. That’s the content we pay for.
