“Delay” is practically the middle name at Guantánamo. This isn’t a typical court case—it’s a bureaucratic black hole. The judge cited mountains of pre-trial motions, classified evidence fights, and the fact that the defense team has to, you know, torture-proof their clients’ statements.
We’re talking about a case where CIA interrogation techniques (enhanced? waterboarded?) make everything more complicated. Every single confession has to be vetted for “illegal coercion.” That’s like trying to un-bake a cake, folks.
And then there’s the venue. Guantánamo Bay isn’t exactly a legal utopia—it’s a military base in Cuba, halfway between nowhere and a headache. The lawyers argue that the whole process is so broken, calling it a “trial” is generous.
So the judge shrugs and says, “Fine, 2028.” It’s less a date and more a wish.
Trump Asks For Delay of E Jean Carroll Lawsuit Trial - The New York Times
But Wait, the Lawyers Have a Punchline
Here’s where it gets juicy. The defense lawyers—and even some prosecutors—whisper a dark little secret: This trial may never happen. Oh, they don’t say it loud, but the subtext is louder than a jet engine.
Why? Well, for one, the “plea deal” kept bouncing around like a drunk ping-pong ball. Remember when they almost had a deal to avoid the death penalty in 2026? The Biden administration torpedoed it faster than you can say “political optics.”
So now we’re back to square one. Or maybe square negative-five. The legal team argues that by 2028, key witnesses will be dead, memories will be mush, and the entire thing will be a “mockery of justice.”
They’re not wrong. The last time a Guantánamo trial actually finished? It’s like asking a millennial to remember life before Wi-Fi—technically possible, but fuzzy.
Lawyer Who Used ChatGPT Faces Penalty for Made Up Citations - The New
