Upstairs, the gym is a temple of quiet desperation and high-fives. It’s not huge, but it’s packed with the usual machines: treadmills that judge your pace, and a rowing machine that lies about how far you’ve gone. You’ll be gasping for air, and the machine will politely say, “You’ve travelled 0.2 nautical miles.”
The best part? The regulars. There’s always one bloke who grunts like a walrus giving birth, and one woman who does yoga stretches that look like a human pretzel. They’re all in it together, united by the shared belief that a smoothie after a workout totally counts as a health food.
Becontree Heath Leisure Centre
Squash: The Sport of Frustrated Geniuses
If you hear a rhythmic thwack-thwack-thwack echoing from the basement, that’s the squash courts. Squash is basically organized rage played in a white box. Two people hit a tiny rubber ball as hard as they can, while sweating profusely and inventing new swear words.
Becontree Heath has two courts, and they are a haven for Dagenham’s stressed-out accountants and aspiring Olympians. The ball can move at 150 miles per hour. That’s the same speed as a tennis serve, but in a room the size of a large closet. Safety goggles are not just recommended; they’re a good idea if you like your eyes where they are.
