Some say M&S is just preparing for the next big thing. They’re making room for a robot butler that serves you a can of Diet Coke. I am not making this up. Or am I?
Others whisper the real reason. The cafés were too comfortable. Too many people sat for two hours on one cup of tea. M&S wants turnover, not afternoon long chats. You and your friend discussing your holiday plans? Not profitable enough. Buy a scone and leave.
Here’s a quirky fact. The most popular item in a closing M&S café is not the sandwich. It’s the table salt. People panic-buy the tiny plastic shaker. “It’s a piece of history!” they scream. True story. (I saw it on Twitter, so it must be real.)
Who Is Surviving This Cake Apocalypse?
The big M&S food halls are safe. The massive ones in London with the cheese counters. But your local one? Watch out. If your town has a population under 30,000 and a bus station that smells of wet carpet, you’re on the hit list. Sorry, Lovely.
It’s the same pattern every time. First, they remove the comfy chairs. Then the cakes get smaller. Then the hot water tastes faintly of broccoli. Then, silence. The doors lock. The last Colin the Caterpillar is sold. Fin.
Store closures recap: Major coffee chain shuts well-loved store and
Don’t panic, though. There is hope. Some towns are fighting back. They are starting a scone lobby group. They hold vigils outside the locked doors. “Bring back our clotted cream!” they chant. It’s beautiful.
