If you dare drive a normal car here, the parking will ruin you. A single hour in a meter costs the equivalent of a cinema ticket. But the real killer is the Congestion Charge and ULEZ fees.
I saw a man in a Ferrari casually pay a £90 parking fine with a contactless watch. It was like he was buying a pack of gum. Meanwhile, I’m over here calculating if I can afford the bus back to Zone 3 without crying. It’s a different tax bracket of life.
The Pub Test
Even the pubs are posh. They serve “gastro” chips for £9 and the barman has a beard that’s been professionally styled. You order a pint and it comes in a glass that looks like a chemistry experiment.
The locals talk about property prices like we talk about the weather. “Oh, the new penthouse in The Knightsbridge is lovely, but the service charge is simply criminal.” Meanwhile, I’m just happy if my landlord fixes the boiler before January. We all nod, pretend we understand, and sip our £8 craft ale.
