Headlining Saturday night? None other than the incomparable Rod Stewart. Yes, that Rod. The one with the gravelly voice and the hair that defies all known laws of physics. Expect him to strut, kick a few footballs into the crowd, and remind us all that “Maggie May” is still an absolute banger.
And for Sunday’s grand finale, they’ve gone and booked the legendary Shania Twain. That woman doesn’t just sing—she arrives. Get ready for a full-on country-pop revival where you will absolutely, no questions asked, belt out “Man! I Feel Like A Woman!” while wearing a sensible cardigan. It’s the law.
The Supporting Cast: AKA The ‘Oh, I Love That One!’ Section
Kylie Minogue is on the bill, which basically guarantees a glitter explosion visible from space. She’ll probably bring a giant inflatable disco ball. She’ll definitely make you forget you have a mortgage.
James Blunt is also performing. I know, I know—you’re already rolling your eyes. But here’s the joke: he’ll generously give you exactly one moment of Bush-era introspection before launching into something cheeky. He’s in on the joke, by the way. He’s always in on the joke.
Add in Simply Red for that ‘90s soul groove, and Texas for the Scottish indie-dance vibes. You’ll be swaying to “Say What You Want” before you’ve even finished your first overpriced lager.
