If you walk away remembering only one thing, let it be this: SEC yield is the dinner menu; distribution yield is the leftovers in your fridge from last week. One helps you decide what to eat; the other explains why you feel a bit queasy. Use the menu to order something sensible, and check the leftovers only when you’re feeling brave or desperate.
Now go forth, look at your fund’s fact sheet, and laugh in the face of financial nonsense. And if that guy at the cocktail party asks you again, just say, “I prefer my yields like my coffee: strong, honest, and free of hidden sugar.” Then take a sip of your bubbly and walk away, because you’ve just won the conversation.
