You don’t need a $3,000 industrial bowl chopper for this. A good $150 model from a restaurant supply store works fine. Or, if you’re a mad scientist in your own kitchen, a sharp knife and a lot of patience.
But if you’re gonna do this more than once, please get the chopper. Your wrists will thank you. Your therapist will thank you too, because you won’t be muttering “shred, flake, chop” while staring at a bowl of lumpy goo.
I tried the knife method once. I ended up with a triceps pump and a lumpy mess. Not worth it. Let the machine do the heavy lifting.
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The Rhythm
Here’s your new mantra: Shred. Flake. Warm. Chop. Say it out loud. It sounds like a weird children’s rhyme. Own it.
Shred the extrudate into big rough pieces. Flake those pieces by hand into smaller strands. Warm them gently in a pan or microwave. Then pulse them in the bowl chopper in short bursts. Short bursts! You’re not making hummus, you’re making texture.
Check after every two pulses. If it looks like soft, stringy pulled pork, you’ve hit gold. If it looks like paste, you’ve failed. But hey, paste is just a dip waiting to happen. No judgment.
