Modern problems require modern solutions. You’re stuck in traffic? Call a priest. Your kid just painted the cat green? Call a priest. You’re trying to assemble IKEA furniture and the instructions are written in alien runes? Absolutely call a priest. They’ve probably counseled someone through a similar existential crisis. One priest I heard about spends his Tuesday nights coaching people on how to tell their boss they need a mental health day. “Use this line,” he tells them: “I’m prioritizing my spiritual wellness.” It works 60% of the time, every time.
11 Common Pitfalls in Christian Fellowship - HopeNoMatterWhat.com
The 24/7 availability is the kicker. It turns the old joke on its head: “Why did the Catholic cross the road?” Answer: “Because the priest is always open for a call at 4 AM.” You don’t have to wait for Sunday Mass. You can be in your pajamas, holding a glass of milk, and suddenly find yourself spilling your secrets to a man who has a black suit and a sense of humor about his own failings.
The “I’m Not Perfect” Club
Here’s a little secret: priests are humans too. They forget anniversaries, they sometimes say the wrong thing at a funeral, and they definitely procrastinate on writing homilies. That’s what makes calling them so easy. You’re not talking to a holy robot; you’re talking to Bob from accounting—but Bob also knows the Catechism and can quote Saint Augustine while cracking a dad joke. I called once because I was worried about a family feud, and the priest said, “You think that’s bad? I accidentally blessed a dog last week instead of a parishioner. The owner was not amused.” Suddenly, my drama felt a lot smaller.
If you’ve never done it, give it a whirl. Next time you’re in a pickle—spiritual or otherwise—pick up the phone. You’ll be surprised how comforting it is to hear a calm voice say, “So, what’s on your mind, my friend?” It’s cheaper than therapy, faster than texting your mom, and you get to feel like you’ve accomplished something holy, even if you were just complaining about your neighbor’s leaf blower. And hey, if you’re really lucky, they might even help you find your keys.
