Here’s the first punchline: there is no direct train. No magical, single-ride unicorn. You will have to switch trains, buses, or pay for a taxi that costs more than your flight.
Your best bet? The National Express Coach. It’s a big blue bus that chugs between the two airports in about 70 minutes. It’s cheap, but it’s not sexy.
Or you can take the Tube to Victoria Station, then a Gatwick Express. This is the tourist special. It works, but you’ll feel like a sardine with a suitcase.
Fun fact: Heathrow Express to Paddington is insanely fast. But then you have to navigate the London Underground for an hour. It’s like sprinting a lap just to crawl a mile.
The Weird Truth About Time
You’d think 40 miles is nothing. Wrong again. The trip takes between 70 minutes and 3 hours, depending on traffic, strikes, or a rogue pigeon on the tracks.
Heathrow is west of London. Gatwick is south of London. They stare at each other across the city, like two cats hissing through a window.
Your actual travel time is a mystery box. You might get a smooth ride. Or you might learn the M25 motorway is a parking lot with a view of gray concrete.
