In the end, alkaline water contains water, some minerals, and a whole lot of marketing. It’s not poison. It won’t give you superpowers. It’s just fancy water that makes you feel like a wellness guru while you clog the office fridge with expensive bottles.
If you like the taste, go for it. Your wallet will hate you, but your taste buds might high-five you. Just don’t pretend it’s curing existential dread. That’s what coffee is for.
So next time you see a glowing bottle of alkaline water, remember: it’s water with a few minerals and a B.S. degree from the University of Expensive Hydration. Drink up. Or don’t. Your kidneys don’t care either way.
