Don’t panic. The Lions have a beautiful tradition of starting slowly. You could show up 15 minutes late and still catch their first three-and-out. It’s like they’re saving you from yourself. Also, if you’re streaming, the game will be on Amazon Prime Video (for most Thursday games) or the NFL Network. Just don’t ask me why it’s on Amazon—I think Jeff Bezos owns a Lions-themed sweater vest.
And here’s a pro tip: Set two alarms. One for kickoff, one for the halftime show. Because halftime is when you’ll raid the fridge, and you need to be back before the Lions forget the score.
So, to recap: Most Thursdays at 8:15 PM ET. Thanksgiving at 12:30 PM ET. Every other Thursday, the universe will conspire to confuse you. But hey, that’s the charm of the Lions—they keep you guessing, even about the clock. Now, go grab a beer and a phone charger. You’ll need both.
