Because time is a tyrant. You need to plan your life around four quarters of glory (or agony). If you miss the kickoff, you miss the hype. You miss the 12th man roaring as the coin flips.
And let’s be honest: you can’t just ask Siri. She doesn’t understand the gravity. “Hey Siri, when does my heart get stomped on again?” She just plays a weather report.
Funny Detail: The “Time Zone Trap”
If you’re reading this from Michigan, you’re in Eastern Time. But your cousin in California? They’re sipping 10:00 AM mimosas when you’re screaming at a 1:00 PM interception. It’s a friendly betrayal of the space-time continuum.
Some people claim the game starts at “Lions Time.” That’s a fictional zone where you show up ten minutes late and the defense has already given up a touchdown. Don’t trust it.
