Think about it. Albert Square is basically your local pub on a Friday night, but with more shouting and fewer crisps. You’ve got the dodgy geezer who’s been “renovating” a house for three years, the drama queen who cries into her wine, and that one bloke who always gives terrible advice. Any one of them could be the victim. Or the shooter. Honestly, it’s a coin toss.
I remember last time this happened. My mate Steve rang me in a panic. “Is it Phil?” he yelled. “Did he get it in the knee again?” I hadn’t watched it yet, but I felt his pain. It’s like when you’re scrolling through Facebook and see an old photo—you know something bad happened, but you’re not sure who got tagged. Tonight, the tag is a bullet.
A Shooter’s Lineup: The Likely Lads (and Lasses)
Let’s run through the roster. First, there’s Ben Mitchell. He’s got a face that says “I’ve just stepped in gum,” and a history of making bad decisions. If he’s the one holding the gun, expect a lot of shaky close-ups and dramatic pauses. Classic Ben. But if he’s the one getting shot? Well, he’s been walking around like a moody teen for weeks. It’s basically karma with a trigger finger.
Then there’s Stacey Slater. She could shoot someone by accident while rummaging for a lighter. Seriously, that woman has the energy of a friend who borrows your car and returns it with a dent and a story about a pigeon. If she’s the victim, it’ll be because she said the wrong thing to the wrong person at The Vic. That woman can start a fight in an empty room.
EastEnders spoilers: Who is shot in terrifying gun siege? | Soaps
Don’t forget Ravi. He’s the bloke who looks like he’s constantly auditioning for a cologne ad, but with a side of menace. If he pulls the trigger, it’ll be smooth and cold—like ordering a flat white with no sugar. But if he’s the one bleeding? Well, he’s got enemies like most people have unmatched socks. Plenty of options.
