The finish line is at The Mall, just in front of Buckingham Palace. So, while you’re watching someone vomit into a plant pot, the actual King might be having tea 300 yards away. It’s a beautiful contrast between royal dignity and public unraveling. The Queen’s guards have perfected the “I see nothing” stare, and let me tell you, they deserve a medal for that skill.
You’ll also notice the commentators. They are Olympic-level cheerleaders with vocal cords made of pure hype. They’ll call a man who finished in 6 hours a “hero” and then instantly pivot to talking about the weather. Their job is basically to make you feel good about someone you’ve never met running slowly. It’s a weird, beautiful job.
The Costume Department
Every year, someone runs dressed as a rhinoceros. Not a small one. A full, foam-rhinoceros suit that weighs 40 pounds. They finish in 7 hours, looking like they’re having an existential crisis. The live stream will zoom in on them, and you will laugh. Then you will cry because you realize that rhino is in better shape than you.
Running Finish Line
There’s also the “Banana Man”. He’s a legend. He runs in a full banana suit and has done so for 20 years. He probably pays more in laundry bills than some people pay in rent. During the stream, you can play a game called “Spot the Weird Fruit.” There’s always a pineapple. It’s a weird botanical marathon out there.
