Let’s look at the evidence. First, the limp. It’s not a subtle, Oscar-worthy limp. It’s a full-on, “I’m-punishing-this-floor-for-existing” stomp-hobble. Second, the accessories. He’s got a special shoe. It looks like a futuristic moon boot designed by a very angry cobbler.
I heard a rumor he claimed it was a “gardening accident.” Yeah, right. Does that garden have a hidden trampoline made of lava? Or perhaps he was pruning a carnivorous rose bush. When does a regular daisy require a surgical boot?
Theories Are Flying
The office gossip is wild. Beth from accounts swears he tried to recreate a TikTok dance. A very risky, one-legged TikTok dance involving a hoverboard. Another theory? He was chasing a squirrel. Not just any squirrel, but a legendary squirrel that owed him money.
I personally suspect a parkour incident. Not the cool, movie-style parkour. The awkward, Tuesday-afternoon parkour where you try to jump a low fence and forget your legs are attached to your body. He probably landed like a wet bag of potatoes.
